I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
so let's talk penis.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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