Dual....:-)
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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