I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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