Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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