it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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