if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
