At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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