I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My cat gives me a boner
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
