Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
