like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
