bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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