My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Randomize
