you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
