"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
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