Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
