READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize