On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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