And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
