I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize