Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
