Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Randomize
