I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
