She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I deserve this hangover.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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