i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
