I think my vagina is haunted
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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