Duck Duck Cougar?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
