dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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