The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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