We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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