i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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