He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
