At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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