and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize