well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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