Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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