Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
