sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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