Well apparently he's into motor boating.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
