man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
