Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
