Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
