just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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