i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
The power of my boobs compel you
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
