We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
