Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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