I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
