He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize