And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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