I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
