you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
