what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
