you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
