We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
