She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
