Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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