you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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