He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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