yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
