Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
