So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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