I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
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