I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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