just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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