She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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