I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
