She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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