And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I can't put those talents on a resume
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
