I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize