So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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