either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
