I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Randomize
