Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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