When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
