those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
