I don't usually arrange sex via text message
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
