I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
farters have to be the big spoon...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
