Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
my sisters under your porch take her home
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
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