I think scott just propositioned me for sex
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
