12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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