I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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