Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
