Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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