I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Randomize
