Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
